Author
Cody Douglas
laughter of the boys gathered up with their backs to me.
Ol' Sureshot, the barkeep, just sort of looked at me with that
"Here we go again" grin on his face and a very slight back and forth
shake of his head.
I proceeded over and peeked over the back row to see what it was and
there lay ol' Skeezik on the floor, shaking, rolling, tossing his body back
and forth in half-flips with his arms tight to his sides.
"What we got here, boys?" I asked.
"Hey Cody!" answered Corncob. "Ol' Skeezik here's just showin' the
boys what a fresh-landed Salmon acts like on dry land."
He was still floppin' when I sat down at the 'Ridge' and had Sureshot
set me up a Jim Beam and water.
"Piece o' work, isn't he?" I said, nodding toward Skeezik.
"You bet he is." Sureshot replied. "Corncob says I should hire Skeezik
for about four hours a day 'cuz he's the best crowd holder around."
"Corncob in the manager business now is he?" I asked.
"Must be." answered Sureshot. "He said if I gave him free drinks he'd
keep ol' Skeezik goin'."
"Well, Sureshot," I said. "if Corncob gets him goin' too much you may
have to pry them apart."
About then Skeezik was up and around again.
"Hey Cody, how is it?" he hollered.
"Not bad, Skeezik. You about ready for the fishin' to hit?"
"I was fixin' to call ya today, Cody. I just bought a new boat and I
got down riggers an' all the fixin's. We gotta try it out."
"I'm ready." I said. "When do we go?"
"We got four hours 'til dark, let's go. You, me and ol' Corncob here.
We'll be first ones on the lake. The boat's already at the dock."
I argued about too early, too cold and not today all the way to the truck,
but, they had a tight grip on both arms and I was soon trapped
in the middle.
As we jumped out of the truck and headed for the dock with a case of beer,
Skeezik began to explain things.
"Ya see," he said. "it's and old boat but she runs good."
We headed out to SEA.
CHUG, CHUG-A-LUG.
Corncob and I looked at each other. We had some doubts as to
our safe return.
"Where's the down riggers?" Corncob asked as he sat down on
one the modern seats made of lawn chairs fastened to the deck
with conduit clamps.
"Take the wheel, Cody." commanded Capt. Skeezik. "I'll set 'em up."
"What the hell are those things?" Corncob laughed.
"Hey Shuddup, Blistex lips." Skeezik returned. "I ain't rich ya know.
I made these myself."
What Skeezik had was two down riggers, and I use the term loosely.
They were, in reality, two butt ends off cane poles about two foot long.
On one end was a carpenter's chalk box wired on with the handle up.
The line coming out was basic bullhead line which ran down the pole
through the eyelet of a screen-door-latch set-up and on the end of the
line was neatly tied a two pound coffee can full of rocks.
Needless to say, the other down rigger was it's twin.
(Skeezik has two of everything.)
With his forehead flat on the deck, Corncob, belly down, was laughing
furiously as the beer in his can flowed out onto his head.
"Shuddup!" Skeezik yelled. "It'll work."
Skeezik proceeded to take the line from the fishing rod and after
letting the lure out on to the water twenty or thirty feet, proceeded
to duck tape the mono-filament line to the can.
If anything else would've been on the lake, I'd have hit it because
I couldn't take my eyes off this ordeal to see where I was steering.
"What are you doin' with that duck tape?" I asked.
"How is that gonna release?"
Corncob got up to wipe his head and get a new beer, still laughing.
"I, Capt. Skeezik, owner-operator of the best charter on water,
will tell you buffoons, with pleasure. Listen and learn, oh ye of little
brains." he sneered.
"Please do, great Captain." Corncob laughed.
Skeezik continued. "The duck tape, properly wrapped, will hold fast while
the one or two pound fish fights after biting the lure. NOW, we have live
bait but, WE DIDN'T PUT IT THERE. Now, the large and hungry Salmon
sneaks up, grabs the live bait and WHALLAH!!"
Suddenly, Corncob stopped laughin' and we just looked at each other
for a full minute before I kicked her into neutral and Corncob and I,
in full gut busting laughter, began to immitate Skeezik's landed
Salmon flipping on the deck of the old boat.
"You two are the dumbest pair of half-wits I ever did know."
Skeezik sneered.
Corncob and I got a fresh beer. We needed it too!
"We gotta be." Corncob said. "What are we doin' out here on the
high seas with a back yard mechanic carrying the IQ of a soil sample?"
"Well, we got beer." I said. "Let's give it a short try."
We drank and laughed and they argued for about thirty minutes
when Skeezik yelled, "Thar she blows, HA HA, I told ya."
Corncob and I turned and looked in amazement. Both rod ends were
bobbing furiously. Then, in a sudden powerful jerk, they gave a twitch
and stopped straight up with dangling, broken line.
"Well lookie there," Corncob laughed. "You still got 'em on the down
riggers at least."
I looked as both chalk box handles spun rapidly and then were yanked
clean off the cane poles into the water.
"I guess you made one too many wraps on the duck tape, Skeezik.
Oughta try a light brand of Scotch tape maybe." Corncob heckled.
"Zip it up, three watt!" Skeezik yelled. "So I gotta get the bugs
out -- big deal. I oughta duck tape yer lips."
"Cody," Corncob continued. "Turn this ol' washtub around. Maybe we can
still sign on with a REAL captain in time for the Spring Derby."
I did turn around too. But mostly because they banged into me so hard
wrestling and slopping beer on me while Skeezik tried to cripple Corncob.
I believe in Skeezik's ability. I think he'll be a great captain in, oh............,
say...................
...................... 87 MORE YEARS !!!!!!!!