Author
CODY DOUGLAS
get some odd jobs caught up. First, I thought I'd paint the long over
due window trim.
However, when I got to the shop my daughter, Hurricane Kristi, had
beat me to the paint; possibly by several days.
The paint can had been left open and the top two inches of paint had
the same texture as three-day-old pancake batter. The bristles of the
paint brush had the same flexibility as a barn shovel.
I decided to mow the lawn.
But, being somewhat upset over the paint status, I pulled the starter
cord much too hard and, tripping over a large red ant at the same
time, I landed flat on my back about 91 yards away with the cord still
in my hand.
That's when Skeezik, Corncob and Slim pulled in.
"Yo! Blister lips!" Skeezik yelled. "Let's go fishin'."
"Where?" I replied.
"We're headin' for the high country to fish the streams awhile."
Corncob answered. "We got everything packed."
I grabbed my pole and, dumping assorted Barbie Doll junk out of
my waders, we were on our way. Fishing the high streams would
be the perfect way to better a badly started day.
So, loaded down with poles, bait cans, boots, and a lunch cooler
we began to part the Tag Alders and berry bushes and finally
found a likely looking spot to toss out our lines.
Skeezik had just removed his sneakers and slipped his foot into his
waders when I noticed his eyeballs expanding like five hour
bread dough.
"Help! Help! There's a snake in my boot!" he howled.
"What?" I returned.
"Snake! Snake!" he continued to yell.
Meanwhile, his foot was going up and down faster than a romancing
rabbit's hind leg.
Finally the boot flew off and out rolled a tightly wound ball of squirming
nightcrawlers.
Corncob's hysterical laughter as he rolled on the bank
somewhat proved his guilt.
"You pea-brained, fish-faced half-wit!" Skeezik yelled. "I oughta drown
you right here."
By then Slim, who is a top notch angler, stood mid-stream trying to get
his hook out of the branches on the opposite bank of the narrow stream.
"No sense tryin' to fish the brush," Corncob heckled.
"I'll bet there's fish right here in the water."
"Shut up." Slim retorted. "I'll bet five bucks I git more 'n you do."
Just then the surface gave way with a splash and I landed
a nice Brook Trout.
"Yahoo!" Skeezik yelled. "Make way, here I come."
Baited pole in hand and back in his worm-free waders he was
knee deep in water at a dead run when his hook caught on an
overhanging Willow and yanked him flat on his back. Splash!
"Hey, guppy brains," Slim laughed. "quit goofin' off.
Yer scarin' the fish."
Well, an hour or so later we'd killed around 4,321 black flies,
maybe 112 gnats, one Prayin' Mantis on Corncob's neck,
and we were taking a break to fry up a dozen Brook Trout and
drink some beer.
"I don't see a lot of bugs pesterin' YOU." Corncob said to Slim.
"Whadda you wear for repellent?"
"It's an old family secret." Slim replied casually.
"Yeah," Skeezik butted in. "Ya just don't change yer shorts and socks
fer a week and half 'fore ya go. I noticed it in the truck."
"Shuddup!" Slim squawked. "Bugs don't bother you 'cause they're
afraid o' gettin' poisoned by yer greasy skin."
After Brookies and beer we headed upstream for a last crack at
another pool. We'd casted and landed a few when I noticed ol'
Corncob heading upstream.
"Where ya goin'?" I hollered.
"Right here." he answered. "There's a nice lookin' hole..."
And with that he was suddenly UP TO HIS NECK IN WATER.
"Help! Help!" he yelled.
"Tread water!" Skeezik laughed. "We'll save ya."
"I can't tread water, sunfish lips." Corncob snapped. "My boots are full up."
So, I reached for his arm as Slim surrounded his head with the fish net and
together we had soon dragged him over the rocks to the shore.
When we had removed his waders, out came 4 Brookies, 3 grubby Shiners, 6
Tadpoles, a frog and 2 crayfish.
"I guess you win the five bucks!" Slim chuckled.
"I couldn't out-do that catch all week."
Well, it was startin' to get dark and the mosquitos outnumbered
a Chinese maternity ward three to one so we packed up and headed
for home.
After all, there's other ways to have fun in life: ...............like............
fixin' the lawn mower!